Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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