everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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