it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
