the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
be right there i have to get my cape
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
