he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
