Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
