this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
