I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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