Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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