i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
