I CAN MOONWALK!
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
