How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
