finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Let the clothes fall where they may.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
