We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
