I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
