i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
