I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
