she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
