I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
