I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
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Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
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I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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