carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
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