so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He did a backflip because drugs
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
