wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
