I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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