Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
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New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
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then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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