I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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