filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
