They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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