Dual....:-)
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
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Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
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The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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