I accidentally burped into my bong.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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