I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
