The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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