Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
