walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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