We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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