Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
there is glitter all over my balls
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
