I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize