So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
