I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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