What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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