end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We got so high we made milksteak
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
