I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
