laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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