is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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