she woke up with a sticky ear
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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