i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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