Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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