went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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