I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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