it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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