So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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