I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it