Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.