You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.