Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
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She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
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This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable