But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
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Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
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So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.