in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
