I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you never un-have a 4some
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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