McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We were destined to go to rehab together
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
