I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
