their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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