im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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