bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
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I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
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Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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