There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
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So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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