no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
