Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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