A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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