Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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