u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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