Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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