If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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