I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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