I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize