YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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